America Lost
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Garland Family and Drunks
I feel good today, which is a miracle! I have mundane nights. I typically sit on the porch, have a drink, read the news and contemplate what I'm going to write about the next day. Thanks to Doc, Becky, Tommy, Bobby, Crystal Lee and the Apostle I have a vast array of subjects to choose from. Ever hear the term, "To hell in a hand basket?" Well, THAT was my Saturday!
Now, for the record, I didn't flip flop on Garland, Jade Helm, or Obama. I was pretty firm about Garland, but when I saw Pamela Geller's legs I "modified." I still maintain she set those Jihadists up masterfully. I just differed about the timing, that's all. It was as plain as the nose on your face. "Here boy, here boy," "ALLAH AKBAR!" BANG! Roll the credits, fade to black. I'd love to stay serious about that incident, but then I see those chalk outlines on the pavement and just start laughing all over again. Now we have, supposedly, seventy ISIS soldiers headed for Texas. Hold that thought, we'll discuss that later.
Anyway, Pamela's action was a point of contention among the brethren down here. There are those who prefer to negotiate with rattlesnakes while Texans just tend to have a rattlesnake roundup. Without naming names, suffice to say there was a lively discussion on the subject, which went world wide and peed all over my jeans. All parties are friends, and I'm stuck in the middle with a beer, and a Chihuahua. THAT was my, "Good Morning!"
Now, without getting too specific, I've got some stupid people in my family. Only it's not MY family, it's this extended white trash kind of family where everybody is a uncle, and more divorces than King Henry VIII. Wait, Henry killed his ex's . . . Maybe he had something on the ball after all. In my family Father's Day is the most confusing day of the year. Need I say more? And I am the blame for ALL of their problems. I'm thinking about changing my name to "Wilbur X!" I'm not going into detail, those who have ears, let them hear.
I capped off the night with phone calls from a drunk, who was hiding under bushes, after being tossed out of a bar because she thought the Mexican Mafia was after her. I crappith thee NOT! I get calls like that. I was kinda on the fence about if I should go pick her up or not. There's this little angel that sits on my right shoulder telling me I am my sister's keeper, but then there's this little red devil on the left who has me hoping she's just drunk enough . . .
Oh, and let us not forget my former daughter in law's picture of her holding an SKS rifle spammed someone's FaceBook page. That was . . . Special. I honestly don't know how that happened. They wanted me to remove the picture. Ok, a picture of a seventeen year old girl, with a gun, in a tank top, winking, and kissing at the camera that was syndicated in 2007! Yeah, remove THAT!
Anyway, I feel good today. Everyone who was upset with me, I guess, are sleeping it off. Like geese, they'll wake up in a different world today. Ok, back to the seventy "soldiers" attacking Texas. Now understand, Garland aside, Fort Hood is the prize. I'd venture to guess that if you took the total figures of all the people killed in the Middle East in the last fifteen years, eighty percent of them ate a bullet from Fort Hood. Now, right next to Fort Hood is an abomination called Killeen. The Cartels took one look at Killeen and said, "DAYUM!" People in Killeen think the world is flat, because when people leave town they never come back. Ever hear of a black hole, and I'm not being racist here. A black hole is where a star falls in on itself, and in its tiny size, wrecks more havoc than the original star ever could. Well, Killeen is a black hole! If you imagine New York City compressed to about the size of of an outlet mall . . . THAT'S KILLEEN! While sitting on my porch at night, if I don't hear at least one distant pistol shot, I think Jesus came back!
Now, I'm not saying there is a violent contingent here that is disproportionate with any other town, but I'm not saying the sun will rise tomorrow either. So here some seventy "Soldiers of Allah" to show the homies how it's done. The phone rings in a trailer park just off of MLK Blvd.
"Yeah, what good?"
"Uh, yo! You got anybody in the market for some guns?"
"Maybe, what you got?"
"Cool, now look out, I got seventy AK-47s. Never fired, and only dropped once."
Killeen . . . The city without limits!
Crips Bloods and Militia
Our militias are a good start, but we have work to do. Now bear in mind I know squat about military, but I think it has something to do with guns and guys. If you have more guns and guys than the other guys, you win. Well, right now the other side has more guns and guys than us. Do the math. There are militias popping up all over Texas, but they are about as organized as a biker bar. I take that back, bikers are usually in an organized gang and therein lies the problem.
Consider this; if the Crips and the Bloods were to suddenly join the Texas militia, do you really think the Feds would have showed their butts down in Bryan? I mean, it's all very cool to crash into the VFW and harass a bunch of old men, steal all their stuff, and not even produce a viable search warrant, but what if there had been twenty or thirty New Black Panthers there for security, all lined up with AR-15s and ATTITUDE? They might have rethought that raid . . . You think?
We, in Texas have GOT to pull our heads out of Mr. Butt, and see this for what it really is. Except for the Muslims this is THEIR fight, too. You think we white folk are getting screwed over by the plutocracy? Minorities have been taking a licking for years! That's why they're O R G A N I Z E D! Now this is a two fold attack plan. We have to get politically organized. The Tea Party gets people elected. I hate to say this, but the American ideal still works. It's just that Obama, and the others who feed at his trough have become so used to ignoring that ideal that has put us where we are today. That, and it behooves them to keep this race war cranked up. So long as we are squabbling about Michael Brown we never notice the puppet masters pulling all the strings. Take for instance Eric Holder flying in to Ferguson. He didn't give a flip about Michael Brown. If Michael Brown had walked down the center of the road in Holder's neighborhood the SECRET SERVICE would have capped him, and if you don't believe that, have I got a bridge for YOU! And Hillary? When the four were killed at our embassy she didn't even remove her sleep mask off to take the call. THERE'S your problem, people. Heck . . . Put those thirty New Black Panthers in that embassy, and we'd have been short a LOT of virgins THAT day!
Two fold solution. Political power, and the men to back it up. Look at the riots. Those people were fighting with rocks, people, and it doesn't matter if they were right, or wrong, the police didn't fire one shot, and it wasn't because they'd all found Sweet Jesus, it was because they knew there was a butt stomping waiting over there. History people, HISTORY! It worked in the French revolution, it worked in Russia in 1917 and it'll work NOW! But, we have to get on board. Fight the real enemy, not each other. In America we can still use the polls. Sure, they're rigged. Out RIG them! Flood the candidates with so many of OUR people that they "Royalty" can't beat them all, and then have the muscle to back UP the 1st, 2nd, and 4th amendments.
It's not going to be easy. Those in power have a good game going, but there are more of US than there are of THEM. We need to take this country back. We can go back to hating each other later. You Crips and Bloods out there . . . You think you hate the Crackers? Google ISIS! Get THAT in the ol' Hood! Let Sharia Law take hold. When you see your grandmother get shot in the head for walking to the store alone . . . You'll know what to do. We may have our differences, but you're still more "nigga" than SAND "Nigga!" Stand up with us and let's take this country BACK? Remember, Crispus Attucks was the first man killed at the Boston Massacre!
Rules to Read Texas By
Texans are a peculiar lot. Hey, I'm one of them, and I know! The rules of engagement are complex when dealing with a Texan, but the common denominator is always common SENSE. Texans don't buy into political correctness in any form. Any time you suggest a course of action in order to "look good," Texans will almost always go the exact opposite direction. This perplexes Americans, but it MESSES with people from other countries, and the farther east you get, the more it confuses great minds of ancient cultures.
Brits are fairly easy to get along with. They like "cowboys" for the most part, but as you work your way through Europe the opinions become, how would you put it, more "refined." Take India . . . PLEASE! Now I like Indian people. I mean, any culture that could come up with the Karma Sutra can't be all bad, but all it takes is one sour apple to make you consider the barrel. Now, they're industrious, fairly intelligent, and God knows there's a LOT of them! For the most part they don't eat Big Macs, and tend to worship critters, but that's cool, it's their opinion in Texans that they take an off ramp.
I met this one particular person. She read a few of my articles, watched a John Wayne movie, and became an expert on Bill the Butcher. She's ranting and raving about how ignorant I was, and I'm just studying her online pictures to see if I can get a look at her legs. Now, I don't mind being hated, it's my stock and trade, but hate me for the right reasons. First off, I'm not a racist, but that card plays so good she just had to play it. I'm white trash from PoDuck, Texas. Brothers and sisters, that's POOR! I literally grew up on tortillas and beans, NOT from Taco Bell. I was fourteen years old before I saw my first manufactured hamburger at a place called Burger Chef. In high school we could fit five people in the trunk of a Chevy to sneak into a drive in movie because we could only come up with one ticket.
You take a childhood like that and it kinda puts you on point. I'm direct, simple, no nonsense, and highly suspicious of ANYONE not in Texas. You bring that to a conversation with some kid from Buglety Bugelty, and you get, well, misunderstanding. So I've decided to give a little Texas Tutorial for folks who have never really stopped to consider the art of Texification.
Texas is NOT part of the DIS United States! Oh, they think we are, and we let 'em believe that, but just try to collect a judgement in Texas. For that matter just try to enforce ANYTHING from an out of state judge. I've SEEN it folks, I crappith thee NOT! Gays get all bent out of shape about the validity of their California marriages coming into question, DUDES, Texas doesn't recognize some Arkansas marriages and NO Mexican ones. We aren't trying to secede, we've BEEN gone, just the Yankees can't accept it.
We have freedom of religion in Texas. You can be anything you want, Baptist, Southern Baptist, Mormon, or Methodist. Yeah, that just about covers it. We don't get along with Moslems because they're always screaming and waving heads around. Now we don't mind cutting off a few heads, but we prefer it to be in the board room of Dell Computer. We don't mind men in dresses, or riding camels so long as its "over there!"
We support the second amendment. If you kill one of us, we will kill you back. Texas passed a law speeding up death penalty sentences. If certain conditions are met you go to the front of the line. In the words of Ron White, "While other states are trying to abolish death row, Texas put in an express lane." We believe in everyone's right to self defense so long as they're a Baptist, Methodist . . .well, you know. John Wayne didn't RIDE no camel!
In Texas we have well developed arts. There is two kinds of music, country AND western. I hear down in Houston they listen to rap. We've never really accepted the Grand Ol' Opry, unless you have Willie there, and he prefers the Austin Opry House to any pretenders. Willie's a little bit liberal, but he's getting on in years so we understand. We like Rock so long as it's Ted Nugent. Stevie Ray was cool, but he made the mistake of getting into a Yankee helicopter.
We support the president, George Bush. We haven't accepted that new guy in the White House yet. Watch the race cards start flying, folks. After the war of northern aggression we had a reconstruction governor. When we finally voted him out we had to go to Austin, grab him by the collar, and throw him out of the Governor's mansion, and that's pretty much what we'd like to do up in Washington IF we were involved, which we're NOT!
We don't understand European Unions, NATO, or any other things girly men from over there come up with. We view the world on two levels, Texas, and NOT Texas. We don't need Agenda 21 or anything else that has to be translated into fifty different languages. You tell us we can't drive our pick ups downtown, and we'll just run over you on our way to Walmart.
We respect our women folk. We particularly like the fact that Texas weather tends to make our ladies wear the least amount possible, up to and including that naked lady sitting on the steps in San Antonio recently because Texas women are the most beautiful in the world. California girls are cute, but you gotta make sure they ARE girls. Anyway, Cali girls are stuck up so they ain't good for much. Surfing, I guess.
We have no race problems in Texas. Stock cars abound, and our horses are faster, leaner, and better trained than any other in the world.
Our liquor laws are unique. We still have "dry" counties, but they're situated among "wet" counties so as to ease Texas nerves. Oh, we still have "Blue" laws that forbid whiskey on Sunday. You can buy beer after noon to give the Baptists time to get home from church and change clothes. If you just HAVE to get a shot you can go to a honky tonk like everybody else.
There are many other aspects of Texan behavior, but these should get you stated. Texas welcomes everyone with one rule: FORGET about where you come from, and don't try to change us. Since Texas is the best place to be in the whole wide world we figure that should be enough.
#texas #humor #satire
Lunch At Florence
Other states work hard at being states. That's understandable for places that have no national identity. California THINKS it has one, but get real. The California mindset didn't just happen, it's been there for a very long time. And New York? New York feeds on being "American." Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being American. I mean, if you live in a place too weak to stand on its own you NEED to be a part of a greater whole. What can you grow in New York besides Yankees?
Texas is the only place in the American union that can stand on its own. If the American economy were to collapse tomorrow, Texas, and only Texas would be able to get up the day after tomorrow, and go to work! California wouldn't even be able to get a drink of water! So why do the Nortés fight our secession so hard? They fight it because they NEED us! Without that daily dose of money, beef, and product the American dream would disintegrate. The worst part of the fifth ward in Houston is hands above the best part of Detroit.
It's fashionable to point at Texans, laugh at our accents, and make jokes about pickups, but Baltimore burned, Dallas did NOT! I had an extended conversation with a young lady yesterday, and the one thing that stood out was her insinuation that I was confined within Texas. Now she was patently wrong, but on the other hand, if I were, why would I want to go anywhere else? From the beaches of Galveston to the deserts of El Paso, Texas has it all. and the price is right! I sent my son a picture of a sign displaying gasoline prices at a convenience store, and he thought I photoshopped it! Buy a steak in New York!
The economy of Texas is through the roof. If you really want to work you'll find it in Texas. Now the welfare system sucks. We designed it that way. We don't NEED a Detroit in Texas! And let's jump on the race thing. People who have never been here imagine Texas lawns filled with burning crosses, and black people being dragged behind pickups all over the state. I submit for your approval a simple true story.
I have a friend, "G," who is from LA, a rapper, and black as a cup of coffee. I mean this guy has it all, the backwards hat, grill, the pants, a virtual poster child for the Cali scene. He was working in Texas, and his father died back in California. First off, we all took up a collection, and got him a plane ticket back home. I had to drive him to Austin, about an hour away, and halfway there he told me he'd missed breakfast, and would like to eat. Well, as chance would have it, we were passing through a little town called Florence. Now, I think Florence has about a thousand people, but I could be wrong because I heard that Billy Joe Jim Bob just got a job in Austin and moved. So, me and G stroll into this little country store/cafe and sit down SURROUNDED by cowboys having coffee, and brothers and sisters, these were REAL cowboys! The cows were in trailers out in the parking lot!
G nervously ordered chicken fried steak and eggs, and the little blonde waitress scurried off to cook it. Y'all got that, right? SHE took the order and then cooked it. Anyway, when she came back, and served us the only thing that a race baiter would pick up on was her observance of G's grill? She asked what it was, and He explained to her that it was just a form of jewelry, which he removed to eat. She said, "My grandpaw had some gold teeth, but they was all in the back of his mouth. No argument, no lynching, not one cowboy even stopped drinking his coffee. We told the waitress about G going home to a funeral, and as we left she said, "Hey, sorry about your paw." The cowboys respectfully nodded and touched the brim of their hats as we left. I'm sure sorry if that doesn't fit with some of your images of Texas.
When it all goes down Texas will survive. The industry, the work ethic, the downright common SENSE will bring us through. Without that monetary shot in the arm from Texas America will spiral down at an exponential rate. Hopefully, when they miss a few meals, when the welfare is all gone, when the race baiting simply doesn't work anymore, and they run to us, wringing,their hands, screaming, "What do we do?" we'll just tell them, "Do what WE do, and welcome to Texas, Partner!"
#texas
States as Opposed to Republic
We need to throw down on what's American and what's NOT! Back when I was in high school I was taught the classical understanding of the hierarchy of government as bequeathed to us by the "Great Emancipator," that being the Fed rules, and the states drool. Now, bear in mind at the time I was listening to the Beatles so this made a lot of sense to me. Big Brother, little brother and kid sister seemed to work out just fine.
Tell me something, who elects congressmen? Is there some kind of national election where all the American people vote for a passel of candidates, or is it a local election, a VERY local election, that sends representatives to Washington to speak for the interests of the people who sent them up there? The problem is that when they get there most congressmen become "Americans" and stop being Texans, Californians or New Yorkers. They "rise above" and become omnipotent, eyes ever scanning the future, voting any way they see fit. Then, come election time, they fly back home, kiss a few babies, get re-elected, and whisk right back to Washington to continue the perpetuation of the God awful American government that we, and the rest of the world have grown to love so much.
Here's the way the government is supposed to work. Let's say someone comes up with an idea to build a super highway from New York to LA, with eight lanes all the way, and no stops all the way to Santa Monica. The Feds figure that since this highway is going to touch several states that they should foot most of the bill, and have control over the finished roadway. Works for me! Or I'll give you another case. Someone knocks down a couple buildings in New York. All the states get together, go over yonder and whip them fellers. Then, they come HOME. Trouble is the American government has a one size fits all mentality. If the road and the war worked out so good, why shucks, dictating schooling, health, and marriage would be just that much better, and since a lot of people have bought into this reverse level of administration imposed by Ling Kahn they get away with it.
Can you imagine the money that would be saved if we just let people run their own business without Senate subcommittee hearings inside the old beltway by people who couldn't cook a brisket if their lives depended on it? Why, we wouldn't even have to have the Capitol open all the time. That would save on electricity right there! We wouldn't even need the IRS, well maybe for someone to sweep that eight lane highway.
You wanna know why this is never going to happen? Because there's too much money to be made micro-managing other people's business, that's why. That, and it's so noble worrying about where a spotted owl out in Idaho takes a crap. They spend YOUR money on that folks, I crappith thee NOT! I've never eaten a spotted owl by the way.
And the Supreme Court, oh don't get me started. They're not even elected, they're appointed by what ever looney tune is having breakfast in the White House at that given time. You could theoretically end up with nine justices from California sitting on the bench. "In the matter of humans marrying parakeets our decision is, 'Totally!" Not any crazier than ceding thousands of acres to a spotted owl.
It will take a long time to pry American hands off a dollar, but it can be done. You just have to sent people to Capitol Hill who'll dance with the ones who brung them. If the Fed is going to run everything, or can trump any laws we pass at the state level why have state legislators at all. We could spend that money on beer, and at least then everyone would be happy.
#texas #secede #statesrights
A Texan State of Mind
I got mad the other day. I didn't let it show much, but I was seething. Now, I'm not going to name names so as not to trigger anyone inclined to run to Facebook, but I am going to speak my mind. First off, I hate ignorance! I dislike people who form uninformed opinions. To read my stuff you almost must have a frontal lobe. I'm heavy into hidden meanings and satire. I capitalize of coming across as a backwoods Texan. This is an act, people. It is a character portrayed in order to make a point. I'm sorry to tell you, but Clint Eastwood never shot anybody either.
A Simple Ol' Boy From Austin: America Lost http://simpleoldboy.blogspot.com/2015/02/america-lost.html?spref=tw
There is a contingent of of elitist people who view themselves as social experts with great international influence because they have an iPad and live in India. I respect all opinions. I find something to like in all people's, but, like Ron White said, you can't fix stupid! You lose your hearing you can but a hearing aid. Eyes go bad you can get contacts, glasses, or LASIK surgery, but when you're stupid, you're stupid forEVER!
I'm not an American, I'm a TEXAN! My state was never a territory, it was a republic joined to the United States by treaty. That's why our flag flies on a separate pole at equal height with the American flag. We really ARE different, and if you don't believe that just take a look at those two dead terrorists on that parking lot in Garland. And yes, we baited them, and yes we killed them, and yes, we will kill every member of any religious group that comes down here and tries to disrupt our peace.
Texas is a mixture of many factions. We have not one but two national languages. Texas is the only state in the Union that can truly stand on its own. I respect and love England, but to be honest, even Britain cannot stand on its own without import. Texas CAN! We could put a fence around Texas and not miss one glass of beer, or gallon of petrol the next day. All I hear out of "certain" people over in India is how backwards we are. Let me clue you in; if Texas does secede from the DIS United States Obama will just have to suck it up. All this talk about Jade Helm, and "taking over" Texas is so much fertilizer. He needs our money too bad to support all those welfare babies up in the northern regions.
"Certain" people said they were former Muslim, raised as a Marxist. Well, I hate to rain on that parade, but your NOT a "former" Muslim. You still have your head on. And Marxist? Give me a break! Even the freaking Chinese don't buy into that nonsense anymore. Ever hear of Putin? HEEEELLLLOOOO! And you call ME ignorant?
I am including a link to a previously published article. It was also printed in a Houston newspaper, the Dam Good Times. Yes, that's right, brick and mortar. I do that a lot, and when some ill informed person says my articles aren't even articles I just refer them to the hundreds of thousands of readers who read me every day from so many feeds that I don't even know them all. I don't have to justify myself. I know who I am, and my methods are well thought out and my writings are constructed to do precisely what they do, I never write by accident. Please read and consider this article.
#texas
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